why don't you create an item called pizza as a throwing weapon
For Exceptional and Elite qualities there's Pickles and Pomagranates. Or better yet, "War Pizza" and "Ogre Pizza". Then there's the American Military MilSpec version, "Pizza, Ready To Eat"; two lies for the price of one. Better than a round shield for defense, older than Ancient Armor, color is Olive Drab. As a throwing weapon, it does no damage, but puppies and kittens and noisy children flock to the target and devour it. This is like those damned Lava Maws, except they swarm the target like bats. All character classes can dual-wield, and duel-wield, Pizza, War Pizza, and Ogre Pizza. Attempting to dual-wield "Pizza, Ready To Eat" will get you stealth-bombed.
*sigh* I'm starving. Gonna dial in a Pizza tonight. Can you guys (in Germany) call a pizza place and they deliver to your door and you pay them then? Great gift to a tired wife, or a hungry puppy.
P.S: SPAM PIZZA! Fabulous thought! Damn now I'm really starving!
Has anybody noticed that I don't need booze to be totally drunk?