Eine kleine Auswahl aus meiner Sammlung:
Never argue with a dragon. To them, you are small, crispy and taste good with ketchup.
Never argue with an idiot. The people watching might not know the difference.
If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
Remember, when someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown. BUT, it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and SMACK the asshole upside the head.
Just remember........if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile way and you have their shoes.
Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.
Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you've just made it again.
Your mind not only wanders, it sometime leaves completely.
Seen it all, done it all...........can't remember most of it.
Those who live by the sword..........get shot by those who don't.
Everybody lies........but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.
Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.